I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
