do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
