In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My first STD was from a foam party
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
