it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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