it's not cheating when I paid for it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
