I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
