I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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