ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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