If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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