Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
