people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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