Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
