I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
