non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
