WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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