I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
