Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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