some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize