Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
