Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
