Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
