woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
