PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
