you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
