Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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