I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just tell him i said nine months
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
