Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
