im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Houston, we have a blender
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
