Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
