Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
