rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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