And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I wear drunk well.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
