Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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