I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
