Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
