WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
