chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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