Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
