he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We need to rekindle our bromance
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
