we're blogging at a bar
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
