but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
