Its about making memories worth repressing
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
