That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
