Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
