hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
