Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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