I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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