you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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