So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
