how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
