The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Houston, we have a blender
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
